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Posted: 07 Jul 2007 at 7:02pm
Originally posted by Only1biancab
Originally posted by dijah.love
there are no boards meant for strictly natural curls. so, we talk about it here.
Actually there is: And before anyone says that, that board isn't strictly for natural curls, neither is this one. This one talks about Baka natural relaxers, lime and coconut relaxers, caramelization, textlaxing, and texturizing too. Even regular relaxers rarely. Anyways, I'm just going to agree to disagree. I do think this board is obsessed with curls and straightening and it probably stems from thinking that afro hair isn't polished enough, but it's just my point of view.
hmmm..........
I look at it this way - if you do not like what BHM or thes threads discuss, then why not just stay with the other hair boards?
It certainly is not rocket science.... and I am not trying to blast you - but - I think everyone has the right to thier opinion...
if the opinion of this board does not line up with your views, that is ok....however, other forums and others might have your shared views.
I love my hair and I think Afro hair is great... I like putting milk on it.... and sometimes I flat iron it. That does not mean that I don't embrace my hair. If I did not - Iwould stillhave relaxed hair.
I am not down on folks having relaxed hair - of course....
I hope this thread stays open - I don't like drama.......
Joined: 26 May 2007
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Posted: 07 Jul 2007 at 7:23pm
Originally posted by wonderstar88
Originally posted by Only1biancab
I think you're not reading what I said. I said this board, as in the natural section, is off-balance. Why would I be talking about the relaxed board? We're talking about naturals. I actually know that most people on this board have curls. But I also know quite a few OPs have admitted to NOT having curls and still asking about curl definition. I also have seen a couple of OPs with curls asking for ways to loosen their texture. There is no variety on this board. Until I started the "how are you wearing your hair" thread I had NO idea you guys wear anything but curls. I was surprised that some of you wear flat twists, box braids, regular twists. We never talk anything about them. Why is that?
The impression I got was that you were talking about the board which is bhm forum and not natural hair care section. That's why I asked you about the stats.
Originally posted by Only1biancab
All we talk about is curl products and the multitude of ways to straighten (relaxers, texturizing, pressing, wacky azz formulas to loosen curls). Nevermind the fact that there's sections for at least three of those. Even on a site like HappyCurls, they don't spend a majority of time talking about curl defining products. They even encourage you to embrace your multiple textures, whereas this board says you have to make it all look the same. Even the few natural threads on LHCF, aren't always about defining curls. Rarely do I see a thread like that. I gotta say, this board in general is obsessed with curls like that's all there is to being natural. No wonder so many go back to being relaxed.
So many go back to being relaxed because they are tired with their natural hair. They are tired of knots, tangles and shrinkage. I think you know that by now, you've been a member way before me remember?
Originally posted by Only1biancab
I've seen plenty of people with 4b hair. If you've been on Nappturality, there's this thread called CNapps that's full of people with no curl pattern. I can name quite a few off hand--cheetarah, AuNappturale, Nappyme, soulsista934. Including myself. It's not rocket science or the 8th wonder of the world.
That question wasn't directed at you but I see type 4b hair all the time and in real life not hair boards. I figured you are 4b because it appears as if you are talking down at posters with other hair types. Thanks for your references though.
Originally posted by Only1biancab
I've been on this board for a long time, and without looking, probably longer than you. It's kinda always been like this. But dang, lately it's curl this, curl that. What else do you guys like to talk about? Anything?
Tell me you joking. So what if people talk about curls? We try to assist everyone and answer all their questions. We are supposed to be 'friendly'. We answer questions based on our expereinces we don't just go chatting bull s... We give sound advice. Therefore if we don't have 4b hair or wear afros we probably won't know how to advise others with that hair type. If people choose to wear their hair straight what business of yours is that? Why are you so upset?
If you have a problem with the topics in the natural hair care section and feel too many are talking about curls when you wanna see differently then take that up with admin and ask them to add a curly section under natural hair care. Then liase with moderators to make sure when people ask curly questions their threads are moved to the appropriate section. How about that?
Joined: 22 Mar 2004
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Posted: 08 Jul 2007 at 12:23am
Originally posted by wonderstar88
The impression I got was that you were talking about the board which is bhm forum and not natural hair care section. That's why I asked you about the stats.
Well I wasn't. This thread was about naturals from the start.
Originally posted by
So many go back to being relaxed because they are tired with their natural hair. They are tired of knots, tangles and shrinkage. I think you know that by now, you've been a member way before me remember?
You know, a lot of people do go back because of that. But if we took some time and dealt with other ways to manage our hair besides curling or straightening it, maybe so many wouldn't go back.
Originally posted by
That question wasn't directed at you but I see type 4b hair all the time and in real life not hair boards. I figured you are 4b because it appears as if you are talking down at posters with other hair types. Thanks for your references though.
I figured it was for everyone, but what was the question about then? You ask if anyone has truly seen 4b hair like it's a rare thing. Then now you're saying you've seen a lot of it. That doesn't make sense.
Originally posted by
Tell me you joking. So what if people talk about curls? We try to assist everyone and answer all their questions. We are supposed to be 'friendly'. We answer questions based on our expereinces we don't just go chatting bull s... We give sound advice. Therefore if we don't have 4b hair or wear afros we probably won't know how to advise others with that hair type. If people choose to wear their hair straight what business of yours is that? Why are you so upset?
If you have a problem with the topics in the natural hair care section and feel too many are talking about curls when you wanna see differently then take that up with admin and ask them to add a curly section under natural hair care. Then liase with moderators to make sure when people ask curly questions their threads are moved to the appropriate section. How about that?
On the curly board thing, dijah mentioned it and said there wasn't one. That's not true and I pointed that out. There's not anything more to that. None of that moving topics and stuff. You're grabbing points from the sky and this aint Super Mario.
Is it bull sh.. to experiment with these other styles? Okay, this is confusing. You guys said well being natural is versatility, the spice of life. Yeah, I agree with that. And you know what? It does include straightening and curl defining. That's all possibilities but they're not the ONLY possibilities. But now you're saying, well we don't do other styles so that's why we don't talk about them? What? Where is that versatility that you were talking about? Did you forget you all said that?
I'm the first one to say, if you don't like a board you should leave it. The thing is, I like BHM and the natural section. It was the first hair board I've ever been to. And even though the natural section hasn't been much help to me recently, it did keep me encouraged when I first started transitioning. There was people that started transitioning at the same time as me and we went through our issues together. The reason I still post here is because I like to help other naturals. I usually stay out of curl defining product threads because people will slip up and say they're afraid of not having definition *ahem*, they don't have curls but want them, or they wanna loosen theirs *ahem*. And that's just a little much for me. Plus, being that I don't have curls products I can't help. The only thing I could tell them to do is accept their texture the way it is and no one wants to hear that. But this time, I just didn't avoid it.
And some of those people are in this thread right now, so I think that's part of the reason everyone's so defensive. I mean, the first person that replied told me she felt guilty and for what? All I did was mention what I've been seeing on this board and then everyone starts going "ow" and blah blah blah "I can curl if I want to, curl if I want to, curl if I want to." Who said you couldn't? And you can look all up and through this thread for where I said you couldn't. You won't find it, but you will find a few of your own slip ups. If you're really happy with what you're doing, then you really shouldn't be this defensive, right? But only you guys really know why what I've said is bothering you so much if you're really not obsessed. As with any post, if it really doesn't fit you, just ignore it. But the thing is, a lot of you aren't ignoring it and if the board topics weren't telling enough..the replies here are.
I'm not upset and I hope you don't think I'm yelling at anyone or beating you over the head with the nappy stick (and I do have one, lol). We're just not in the same corner on this one, that's all.
Joined: 19 Aug 2006
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Posted: 08 Jul 2007 at 1:00am
yes, SJ this post is good, and important. The drama is an unfortunate by-product.
Bianca:
Seriously, you seem really displeased with so many of the ideal/questions/needs of recent BHM members. They don't agree with you so you want to find fault in all they say. It seems really counter productive and not helpful. You admitted to having received help when you began on this site, it being your first. Seems to me that you are throwing salt because people don't agree with you.
Maybe your energy would be better spent developing a website that suits all of your needs perfectly, because BHM may not be the place for you to hear what you want, when you want to. Or maybe you can start posts of your own that are geared to your interests.
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Posted: 08 Jul 2007 at 9:56am
ok, there is no curl board for natural curls. Its about like curling iron curls and how to get curls like Cristina Milian with a curling iron. It doesnt discuss natural curls only.
Sometimes we have threads up in here talking about naturalaxers and stuff, and we tell the people that wouldnt keep your hair natural... sooo?
The MAJORITY of us have 3b, 3c, 4a-ish hair. So thats what we are going to talk about and how to take care of our hairtypes. How can you expect people to talk about hair we dont have? Like I said before, if you want to talk about twist, braids and afros, there are boards designed JUST FOR THAT. There are none desgined just for NATURAL CURLS so we will continue to discuss it here.
And putting curl products in your hair isnt considered not embracing your natural hair. Like Wonderstar said b4, we already have the curls on our heads. we are just enhancing them. Sometimes we can wear our hair without curling aids, but that isnt a must. I refuse to let someone tell me I dont embrace my God-given hair when I have worn it for the past 14 years (and counting) of my life just because I like a little fantiasia ic here and there.
The problem is that you feel the need to talk for everyone. Speak for yourself, you were the one who started talking about tired of seeing this and tired of seeing that. Why don't you do all of us a big favour and just back track to all your comments. Then you'd see why, because of your 'tone'.
You would hardly see me talking about straight hair and curly hair because I rock buns, twists and cornrows on a regular. I have a variety because I make my hair versatile. That's right I will control my hair and not have my hair control me period. I assume that's where the 'manageability mindset' comes into play but I already admitted to it in my first post anyways (just incase you wish to say I'm contradicting myself). The only style I was unsuccessful at is the afro because my hair is too fine, I would have to pick it out to remove the coils etc, only for it to flop. I think my hair is too long for that now. I wasnt talking about styles with giving advice. You forget this is the natural hair care section not styling section.
Anyways this is not the styles section so why don't you get off 'our only styling methods'. This is the natural hair care section so get back on track. Since you are a member from long ago you play the hair expert and tell us how to handle our knots, shrinkage, frizz and tangles so we won't have to straighten our hair to get those issues under control. Simple as that.
You talking about we not helping you out over here for your journey. The only threads I recall of you are hair albums of long haired naturals of other hairboards to be exact. Its one thing to see the outcome but its a whole other story to get there. Therefore we need to discuss the issues. You say you can only tell people to accept their hair the way it is. I think you should just stick to that. Quit trying to get people to follow your way......hmmmmm, is that the only correct way? You were trying to teach me science, you say I'm not making sense well, you made good solid points which would be of more benefit to yourself. I am going to take your advise and ignore your reply only. I really think this is an intersting topic so I will be back but not to address your answer back for me. I know you may want to teach me history today but 'teacher' that's all right I just dropped your class.
One more thing before I go.....I know you are trying to say we lack self-confidence, we are unhappy and want to change, want what others have. So tell us Bianca...who's that girl in your avatar? Is she a close family, is she a friend, a celebrity? You admire something about her that's why she's up. Its common sense. I was shocked when I saw your hair stye picture in your thread "how are you wearing your hair" I honestly thought it was you cause that pic been up for ever. So I'm even more shocked to hear you talking about straight and curly as our only way. Read between the lines I'm sure others already have. We surely have different views but I respect your input.
Others , please excuse me for the sideline drama. It happened as a result of one member trying to play 'super hero' with out your nomination. I don't go down like that I move 'solo'. I'm confident enough to speak for myself and isn't afraid to admit when I'm wrong. God gave us a voice and we should use it respectfully.
Original Poster, I'm sorry for the interruption but I would love to hear from you again because your a great asset to naturals.
ok, there is no curl board for natural curls. Its about like curling iron curls and how to get curls like Cristina Milian with a curling iron. It doesnt discuss natural curls only.
Sometimes we have threads up in here talking about naturalaxers and stuff, and we tell the people that wouldnt keep your hair natural... sooo?
The MAJORITY of us have 3b, 3c, 4a-ish hair. So thats what we are going to talk about and how to take care of our hairtypes. How can you expect people to talk about hair we dont have? Like I said before, if you want to talk about twist, braids and afros, there are boards designed JUST FOR THAT. There are none desgined just for NATURAL CURLS so we will continue to discuss it here.
And putting curl products in your hair isnt considered not embracing your natural hair. Like Wonderstar said b4, we already have the curls on our heads. we are just enhancing them. Sometimes we can wear our hair without curling aids, but that isnt a must. I refuse to let someone tell me I dont embrace my God-given hair when I have worn it for the past 14 years (and counting) of my life just because I like a little fantiasia ic here and there.
That curl forum is for natural curls, but nobody hardly posts in it.
Joined: 01 May 2006
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Posted: 08 Jul 2007 at 12:13pm
This is getting ridiculous.
As I stated, the bottom line is a one that we won't get to here on the forum, or on this thread......
Wonderstar88,
I don't think it is appropriate to personally attack someone's avatar.... We have to be careful........
Again, if someone does not like it here-then it is time to mooooove on.
Interestly, ( in terms of History ) if this was 1867 ( 140 years ago), we would all be on the same page, because BLACK women had to do nothing but stick together.... We were just liberated after the Civil War, and had fewer rights than black men!
....... Even if the master got into the slave quarters, and you were a girl, and you had 'that hair' - you were still a ni#@@##er....no rights, and nothing but other women around you to suppport and be supported by......
Remember, y'all, we are lucky to be here, to discuss our issues..................So these arguments ( on BOTH SIDES ) are silly.......
Please give it a rest......................
My avatar representsmy favorite show growing up - that is an aside........
Edited by samanthajones67 - 08 Jul 2007 at 12:20pm
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, please excuse me for the sideline drama. It happened as a result of one member trying to play 'super hero' with out your nomination. I don't go down like that I move 'solo'. I'm confident enough to speak for myself and isn't afraid to admit when I'm wrong. God gave us a voice and we should use it respectfully. 
